A veteran's own eligibility for a national cemetery doesn't automatically extend to their household. If you're the spouse of a veteran, or the veteran yourself planning ahead, the question of whether you can be buried together — and what that actually costs — has a specific answer with specific gaps in it.
Is a Spouse Eligible for Burial in a National Cemetery?
Yes. According to the VA, an eligible spouse can be buried in a VA national cemetery, and that eligibility does not disappear if the spouse remarries after the veteran's death. You don't need your own military service record — eligibility runs through the veteran's qualifying service and discharge status. If the veteran was eligible (see Who Can Be Buried in a VA National Cemetery? for the full breakdown of who qualifies), the spouse generally is too.
This holds whether the spouse dies before or after the veteran. Either order works: the cemetery can accommodate the first death and reserve space for the second.
What's Covered for the Spouse at No Cost?
When a veteran is buried in a VA national cemetery, the VA confirms the following come at no cost to the family: the gravesite itself, opening and closing the grave, a headstone or marker, and perpetual care of the grounds. These are national cemetery benefits tied to the burial location, not payments tied to the veteran's individual death — which is why they extend to an eligible spouse interred in the same national cemetery.
Because the specific arrangement (whether a spouse shares the veteran's gravesite or is placed in an adjoining one, and how headstone inscriptions are handled) can vary by cemetery, confirm the details with the cemetery directly or the National Cemetery Scheduling Office at 800-535-1117 before you assume how it will work.
What's NOT Covered for the Spouse?
This is where families get tripped up. The VA burial allowance is a payment tied to the veteran's death, not the spouse's. The VA is explicit that the allowance is "exclusively for veterans" who meet specific service and discharge criteria — a surviving spouse's own death does not generate a new burial allowance payment from the VA.
Practically, that means:
- If the veteran dies first and is buried in a national cemetery, the family may be eligible for the veteran's burial allowance, tied to the veteran's service record.
- If the spouse dies later, that later death does not itself trigger a VA burial payment, even though the spouse can still be buried in the same national cemetery at no cost for the gravesite, grave opening/closing, marker, and perpetual care.
- Transportation costs to bring remains to the cemetery, and any private-cemetery plot allowance, follow their own separate rules — see Does the VA Reimburse Transportation of a Veteran's Remains? and What Is the VA Plot Allowance and When Does It Apply? for how those work, since they generally apply to the veteran's burial, not the spouse's.
| Benefit | Veteran | Eligible Spouse |
|---|---|---|
| Gravesite in national cemetery | No cost | No cost |
| Opening/closing of grave | No cost | No cost |
| Government headstone/marker | No cost | No cost |
| Perpetual care | No cost | No cost |
| VA burial allowance | Available if criteria met | Not applicable |
| Plot/interment allowance | Available in some cases | Not applicable |
Does Divorce Change Anything?
The VA's published guidance addresses remarriage directly — remarrying after the veteran's death doesn't disqualify a spouse from burial eligibility. It does not spell out how a finalized divorce before the veteran's death affects eligibility in every scenario. If your situation involves divorce, don't assume either way. Call the National Cemetery Scheduling Office and get a direct answer for your case before you make other funeral arrangements based on an assumption.
How Do You Actually Arrange This?
Burial in a national cemetery is scheduled at the time of death, not reserved years in advance for most families. When the time comes, whoever is handling arrangements — a funeral home, next of kin, or an executor — contacts the National Cemetery Scheduling Office at 800-535-1117 (TTY: 711), Monday through Friday, 8:00 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. ET. That office coordinates timing, location, and the type of gravesite memorial.
If you want to plan ahead, some veterans complete pre-need eligibility determination while they're alive, which confirms eligibility for the veteran and often the spouse before there's a funeral to arrange in a hurry. That step won't guarantee a specific cemetery or plot, but it removes the eligibility question from an already difficult week.
What to Do About It
- Confirm the veteran's eligibility first. Spousal eligibility runs through the veteran's service record and discharge status, so start there.
- Don't expect a VA burial allowance for the spouse's death. That payment is tied to the veteran, not the spouse — budget the spouse's funeral costs separately if the veteran has already passed.
- Call before you assume gravesite logistics. Whether the spouse shares the veteran's gravesite, gets an adjoining one, and how inscriptions work varies by cemetery — the National Cemetery Scheduling Office (800-535-1117) can confirm specifics for the cemetery you're considering.
- Ask about pre-need eligibility determination if you want to settle the eligibility question before it's urgent.
- Keep discharge paperwork (DD214) accessible. Whoever calls the scheduling office will need it to confirm eligibility quickly.